Feeling Like Old

I'm starting to feel like I used to when I dropped out of school. I feel like there is nothing good happening. I feel worthless and bad. There is this big hole in my body that I just cant seem to fill. I dont have the urge to do anything but lay in bed and I just dont feel happy. I just want to be alone. I can feel my money dripping away. I just wish I could start a new. Iniziare Sopra! That would be a wonderful thing. Just move away. Start where nobody knows me. Get a lucky break and be happy again. There are many different factors that could be causing this. Dave living with me, my living situation (apartment wise), its almost my one year, we just got a new dog, my job. I just want it to be good again. I dont want to be unhappy. I want to be something that someone would be proud of. I'm not going to school, and I thus far have nothing to show for myself. I feel horrible. I dont feel accompished. I wish I was better. Worthy. I cant even keep my house clean. It doesnt help that I am reading a book about a messed up girl. You know what I feel like I dont deserve what I have, and I know I want more. I just wish that I could start moving forward.

Empty

I feel so empty and alone. I feel as though I push people away when all I want is for them to come as close as possible. I am sad. I am stuck in a small apartment is two guys and a cat. And all I feel like doing right now is crying. I just want him to hold me. Tell me he loves me and that its alright. I wish I was as beautiful as he thinks I am. Oh I hate this feeling.